Monthly Archives: September 2006

Ten Things About Sex

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Once again, my inbox was littered with a chain letter claiming something ridiculous. This time it came from my Dad and it claimed ten benefits of sex and threatened:

This message has been sent to you for good luck in sex. The original is in a room in Palaiseau. It has been sent around the world nine times.Now sex has been sent to you. The “Hot Sex Fairy” will visit you within four days of receiving this message, provided you, in turn, send it on.If you don’t then you will never receive good sex again for the rest of your life. You will eventually become celibate, and your genitals will rot and fall off.This is no joke! Send copies to people you think need sex (who doesn’t?). Don’t send money, as the fate of your genitals has no price. Do not keep this message. This message must leave your e-mail in 96 hours.Please send ten copies and see what happens in four days. Since the copy must tour the world, you must send it. This is true, even if you are not superstitious.GOOD SEX, but please remember: 10 copies of this message must leave your e-mail in 96 hours or you will not have good sex again for the rest of your life!!!!   

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The DTW

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I have been through a bunch of airports over the years, but I was never so surprised by as I was when I traversed terminals at Detroit Int’l Airport. My flight arrived a few minutes late. No problem, I had a three-hour layover. Yet, when I looked down the terminal, I saw one of the longest walks I have had in an airport. Maybe that three hours was going to be just enough time to get to my connecting gate in another terminal.

Like most modern airports, DTW has a mall in it’s central terminal. DTW’s is well appointed with chi-chi stores, sushi restaurants (I had my dinner there. Too expensive and not much better than my fave teriyaki hangouts), and newsstands. Along and above this indoor strip mall was DTW’s inter-terminal tram. Bright red and modern, several trams cruised an elevated track that runs the length of concourse A. Quite entertaining, as I watched trams enter and exit the concourse through the Land of Make Believe entrances along the line. Ding-Ding.

What caught my eye the most was a subterranean passage between concourses. I entered via the usual escalators. What I saw on the floor caused my head to pitch to the right. Colors danced on the polished stone floor. As the noise of Concourse A faded, I began to hear environmental techno music. The lights changed color to the music. Finally, at the bottom of the escalator I saw the full picture. For about fifty yards, colors danced on the walls. The passage is about 10 yards wide and was shaped like a gently flattened cylinder. Moving walkways travelled from end to end. From end to end beautiful colored lights back lit fine art glass panels curved to the shape of the passage

While in the tube (a three-hour layover gave me a lot of time) I heard several songs. The flashing lights and the otherworldly tones reminded me of Close Encounters. I was even more surprised that no one but me was taking pictures of this art piece. I did see a father and son videotaping, but they spent no more time than it took to get from one end to another. I (proudly) must have at least 24 exposures of this wonder in Detroit.

The Mom & Pop Tour 2006: Week 1

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The Mom and Pop tour is about visiting family. You might ask “Ted, why the hell would you take vacation time to visit family? Why don’t you go to an exotic locale with equally exotc women that refuse to wear more than a square foot of material?” Now that I read that question from the comfort of my Mom’s glider rocker I have to ask myself the same thing. Truth be told, I don’t see my family all that much. I have lived in Germany, Japan, both US coasts and points in between. Travel for the sake of seeing something different was a job for my family. Vacations were used to remind relatives what we looked like.

The first week of the tour was spent with Dad. Alexandria, MN doesn’t offer much in entertainment or unique scenery. I do miss the open fields and rolling hills. The big event for us was participating in escorting the the Traveling Wall from St. Cloud, MN to Long Prairie, MN. We rode with a group of forty bikers from the Patriot Guard Riders, a group of veterans. The ride was about eighty miles total and lead by local highway patrol, sheriff, and fire department. Riding bitch offered me a perch to capture images of the countryside.

Seattle is a deceptive city. Full of trees. Access to open water. Lots of parks and nature friendly pathways. It’s still a city cluttered with concrete and glass. Sure everything I want is a walk away. However, I scuff my knuckles on facades when I try to spread my arms wide. Minnesota is a prairie state. Once away from the Cities, the landscape opens up. It’s cornfields, lakes, ponds, and the occasional farmsteads a’la Rockwell. From the back of a motorcycle (“ridin’ bitch” if you didn’t already know) affords the traveler an unobstructed perch like no other. No vertical roof supports to dice the horizon. No glass blocking the Sun and wind. It might have been only a day in a life, but the seven hours on the back of Dad’s bike is worth seven in the sun anywhere else.