Okay, this is an email meme my mom sent me, but I laughed. Therefore, you had better. After all, my mom thought these were funny.

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighbourhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories..
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes – to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this thing I have– ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn It!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to Voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day.. What a waste.
17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. My 4-year old grandson asked me in the car the other day “What would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the hell do I respond to that?
19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet, on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Bud Light than with a Kay jewelery Product.

Hayseed-Dixie [link] Put on a damn fine cover of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody. If nothing else, pay attention to the string work. Damn solid playing.

This video features presents two views of contemporary culture. Both views are presented with exactly the same words.

link » » Letters of Note: Slaughterhouse Five

Fascinating site of actual letters from well knowns. The above letter is from Kurt Vonnegut to his father. It was sent shortly after Vonnegut’s release from a Dresden prison camp and the Bombing of Dresden during WW II.

link » » Sleep Talkin’ Man

On of the funniest blogs I have had the pleasure of reading. A wife records her husband’s night ramblings. The blog is gaining a lot of media attention.

link » » The 30 Most Anticipated Movies of 2010

A solid overview of this years coming theatre offerings. A great to plan your date night budget.

link » » ICSI Netalyzr

A bit of Net geekery. A useful tool that provides a look at latency and supported services. Take a peak at what your ISP is or is not allowing you to access.

link » » Indie+Relief

A good selection of applications with proceeds going to a good cause – Haiti Relief.

In my previous article [link], I wrote at length about the current g-spot controversy. I’d like to now give my two-bit anecdotal evidence for its existence and methods of enjoyment. I’ll open by saying that I am by no means an expert in this field. This site is my soapbox and I use it as such. My aim is to share something good and useful.

The controversy woke me up and brought to mind my history with the g-spot. I can’t actually tell you when I first learned about it. As a term, it wasn’t coined until 1982, so I can say for certain that it wasn’t before then. Besides, I was twelve at the time. I’d say it would have to be in my late teens, then. My first serious girlfriend and sex partner is the most likely locus for my early g-spot investigations. As the sensitive guy that I was trying to be, I made it a priority to learn what I could about the female erogenous zones.

I committed to memory the placement of the various items that make up a woman’s sex organs. The mons pubis, labia major, labia minor, clitoral hood, clitoris, urethra, vaginal opening, vagina, cervix, uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries. The g-spot was a magical thing though. Apparently, if touched properly, it could induce a mind blowing orgasm unlike any other. At least, that’s what it said on the book jacket, right? Well, I wasn’t about to neglect this small fleshy area just because it was elusive and its very existence was under contention.

Now men don’t have much patience for things that can’t be seen. After all, most of our awareness is made up from visual stimulus. A clitoris can be seen. Therefore, the clitoris can be properly manipulated to bring on an orgasm. This is what men like. We want a users manual with diagrams of what we will be doing. The g-spot on the other hand is a wily and elusive thing.

It is positioned inside the vagina at approximately 1 to 2 inches on the upper (belly) side. What the biology books don’t show is that from the vaginal opening, the interior of the vagina arches upward just a bit and it can carry the g-spot out of reach of the penis. Normal penetrating sex will just graze this area. However, careful use of the finger tips can find and stimulate the g-spot.

I was surprised and she was delighted that this lovely spot in her vagina did actually exist. G-spot stimulation became a norm in our play. My experience with her set up presumptions that I’d have about future women. First, I thought all women would be as easily stimulated via the g-spot. Second, I thought that all women would by the time I met them be aware that they had a g-spot. Man, was I wrong.

Young and stupid, hopefully, has lead to old and wise. I did learn that women have a wide area of experience when it comes to the g-spot. Like men, women are familiar with what they see. More than one has used a hand mirror to explore and visually inspect. Again, the clitoris is pretty easy to locate. Pull upward on the clitoral hood and there is pleasure button number one. Why worry about a spot about the size of a nickel inside the vagina when there is a much easier to access source of pleasure, right?

The good news is that I knew better early in my sex history. A couple of my lovers were aware of the g-spot and were appreciative of the extra attention I gave it. And still others had heard of it, but their own experiences led them to believe that they didn’t have one. What I learned from all of my lovers is that they all have a g-spot. One description helped me above all to locate the g-spot: a more textured bit of flesh about the size of a nickel and one to two inches inside the vaginal opening. “More textured” gave me something to feel for and I have yet to not locate the g-spot on a woman. However, I also learned that not all women are as sensitive as my first lover was.

One lover never had a vaginal orgasm. For her, the pleasure she derived from penetrative sex came from rough handling and deep fast penetration. Neither of these behaviors am I naturally inclined towards and had to learn for the sake of our sex life. From her, I acquired a bit of a kink streak. As a balance, I asked if we could see if we could teach her body to be more sensitive to vaginal intercourse. G-spot stimulation was our starting point.

Every woman responds differently to g-spot stimulation. Some will find it immediately and intensely pleasurable. While others will find that stimulating the g-spot is uncomfortable and even painful. To understand why, we need to know what we are stimulating. The g-spot is actually a cluster of nerves that surround the urethra along its length. The separation between the anterior (belly side) of the vagina and the urethra is very thin. The nerves come in close contact with the vagina. Along the anterior side of the vagina there is a very textured bit of vaginal wall. This is where the separation is thinnest and most sensitive.

When pressure is applied to this area some women may feel a sensation similar to the urge to urinate. This is where delicacy is a must. Social conventions will make this sensation uncomfortable. As mentioned above, if too much pressure is applied too quickly, the sensation can be quite painful. The rule of thumb with g-spot stimulation is to begin gently and slowly. Use one or two fingers and stroke with a come hither upward curl of the fingers. Also, don’t focus all of the contact on the g-spot. Don’t forget that there is another hand and a mouth to spare. This is supposed to be fun, right?

With the woman I mentioned above, I kept my touch as subtle as possible. The object for us was to awaken the nerves in her vagina and help her to become more aware of their responses to stimulation. Over time, we were able to increase pressure and frequency. And because we didn’t spend all of our time on the g-spot her body was able to associate its sensations with her general pleasure. And I am proud to say, that she began to have incredible orgasms from softer penetrating sex. (This doesn’t mean we dispensed with the rougher play. That was fun in its way, too.)

One thing that researchers seem to forget when choosing their sample pools is that we are all different. We do not come from the same mothers and fathers. None of our sexual experiences are exactly the same. Yet they still attempt to homogenized human experience so that it will fit their data. The truth is completely the opposite. The generalities of human sexuality are so completely general as to make any study meaningless. What I just wrote above worked for me because of a little learning, some patience, a willingness to try and more importantly a willingness to move on if what I tried wasn’t working.

-vita brevis sic lasivious nuda- Life’s short. Play naked.

Last week, a new medical study caused a big stir in the world of sex. A group of scientists from Kings College UK claimed that they proved conclusively that the g-spot doesn’t exist. The debate on the existence of the g-spot has been open since Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg declared:

An erotic zone always could be demonstrated on the anterior wall of the vagina along the course of the urethra.
The Role of Urethra in Female Orgasm, International Journal of Sexology 1950

While Gräfenberg didn’t coin the term “g-spot”, he was the first to observe this Holy Grail of pleasure points. Dr. Beverly Whipple and her colleagues would publish their findings confirming the existence of the g-spot in 1982’s The G-Spot: And Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality. With the door supposedly closed on the subject, a market for self-help guides and sexual aids opened up. Everyone came out of the woodwork to proclaim that they knew how to best locate and stimulate this highly responsive patch of flesh. Any time a new study about the g-spot surfaces, the study grabs media attention. The Kings College study is no different.

Genetic and Environmental Influences on self-reported G-Spots in Women: A Twin Study is the largest study of its kind. Some 4625 questionnaires were mailed out to twin female UK residents. 1875 responded to the questionnaire. 71 responses were eliminated because the researchers felt that these would skew the results (I’ll come back to this later). The choice of twins (both maternal and paternal) was intended to show a biological link. The researchers’ hypothesis was that there should be more agreement in the responses between maternal twins than paternal twins because maternal twins are genetically identical. Their conclusion was that no such agreement existed, therefore the g-spot does not exist.

The findings of this study are as controversial as the studies that declared the g-spot’s existence. Two items to be looked at are methodology, and the reasons for eliminating certain responses. The self-reporting nature of the questionnaire format is tricky to analyze. Questions should show no bias toward outcome. One question reads:

Do you believe you have a so called G spot, a small areas the size of a 20p coin on the front wall of your vagina that is sensitive to deep pressure?

Here, terms like “so called”, “size of a 20p coin” (about the size of a US nickel), and “sensitive to deep pressure” can lead a respondent to mark ‘no’ on the questionnaire simply because this does not match their personal experience.

Then there are the respondents that were eliminated from the pool. Those women that “reported they were homo or bisexual were excluded from the study because of the common use of digital stimulation among theses women, which may bias the results. Also excluded were women who had never engaged in vaginal intercourse.” This action biases the entire study toward heterosexual couples engaging in penile penetration sex only. This, in and of itself, should invalidate the study. First, back to the description of the g-spot:

“a sensitive area felt through the front (anterior, belly-side) wall of the vagina about halfway between the level of the pubic bone and the cervix (along the course of the urethra).”
The G-Spot: And Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality, Dr. Beverly Whipple

The g-spot is located within one to two inches from the vaginal opening. A penis penetrating deeper than this is only rubbing the shaft on this area. A woman might not feel stimulation at the g-spot at all. As a matter of fact, Dr. Whipple suggests that “The easiest way to stimulate the G-spot is by using two fingers inserted into the vagina with a come-here motion…” meaning that the piston-like motion of man-on-top sex may not always induce a g-spot orgasm. The respondents that would have greatest experience with locating and stimulating the g-spot are those that are most likely to engage in alternative stimulation like the use of digits or devices. In other words, lesbians and bisexual women!

Okay, it’s plain to see that I don’t agree with the finding of the Kings College researchers. Ultimately, the researchers defended their findings by saying “It is rather irresponsible to claim the existence of an entity that has never been proven and pressurise women and men too.” However, if the methods of disproving a hypothesis are negligent or too narrow, is that not as irresponsible? Since the suggestion that the g-spot existed, men and women have been under pressure to locate and stimulate it. The rafts of guides and gizmos have done little to ease the anxiety for those that feel they can’t find it. The negative outcomes make people self-concious of their abilities and physiologies. What’s wrong with me? Don’t I have a g-spot like every other woman? Why am I unable to find her g-spot? It’s unfair and irresponsible for the so-called ’sexperts’ to proclaim that anyone can enjoy the same pleasures as their neighbors. Their advice is only true if all of us were born from the same parents and lived exactly the same lives.

It’s also irresponsible to invalidate all of the anecdotal evidence that shows that there is a spot inside of the vagina that is more sensitive than the surrounding tissue. The fact that not all women respond the same is marker of diversity. That’s all. To narrow the sample pool to a narrow band of experience is to disavow the rest of the spectrum. Rather than trying to be right, researchers should be trying to find ways to either help women increase sensitivity or learn how to just not worry. Everybody’s pleasure points are different.

Some of my resources:

link » » Where have all the g-spots gone? by Dr. Petra Boynton

link » » The Role of the Urethra in Female Orgasm by Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg

link » » The G-Spot Revisited by Dr. Betty Dodson

link » » Err on a G-spot By Tom Geoghegan

link » » Scientists claimed it was the mysterious key to sexual fulfilment. Now they say the G-spot doesn’t exist. Oh well, at least we enjoyed searching for it by Linda Kelsey

link » » i’m in ur internets findin’ ur g-spots… by Violet Blue

link » » gspot by Violet Blue

link » » Yes, there is a G-Spot by Rachel Kramer Russel

link » » Finding the G-spot: Is it real? by Elizabeth Landau

link » » The G-spot ‘doesn’t appear to exist’, say researchers (no byline)

link » » Female G-spot ‘can be detected’ (no byline)

The Third & The Seventh from Alex Roman on Vimeo.

This is a truly amazing video. I encourage you to watch it full screen and in HD.

I have long been a fan of magic. I can even remember watching Bill Bixby’s The Magician [link] as a kid. Hell, a former boss came in second place to David Copperfield! That’s the kind of fan of magic I am. Lennart Green [link] is among the best and shows a fine sense of humor and great originality. Every one of the thirty minutes of this video is really worth it.

This is very cool. You’ll think twice about barking at that friend that can stop playing with your power window buttons.