OK Go – This Too Shall Pass from OK Go on Vimeo.

They have made band geeks cool again. This has not been accomplished since Fleetwood Mac’s Tusk [veoh link]

OK Go’s new album [iTunes link]

This past Friday I forgot my brain at work. I really can’t believe that it happened to me. After all, I think my heads screwed on tight enough to keep that slick and wrinkly bugger from slipping out. It happened, none the less. Once home, I cracked open my trusty feed reader to catch up on the day’s news, comics, and general absurdities. An unrelated article had a banner near the top of the page. It spoke of a miracle berry, Acai, that is taking the dieting world by storm.

The problem with the banner is that it suckered me into believing that it was pointing me towards an article from a local paper. Losing weight has been on my brain for several years now, and recently I was making headway. That headway stalled on me. Now frustrated, I found myself reading this article earnestly. It promised that this miracle berry would help shed weight. The “journalist” recounted her results. She lost 25lbs. in a mere four weeks! Astounding. Within a couple of clicks, I had ordered my 30 day trial of this wonder pill made of Acai berries and other mystery ingredients.

I went to bed that night dreaming of shedding my last fifteen pounds. I’d cancel my subscription within the first 14 days and will have spent only $5. Sweet! Then I remembered my Dad doing much the same thing when I was a teenager. That company promised him a watch. What he ended up with was a bill of a couple hundred dollars and a can of individually wrapped vitamin supplements. It took him a couple of weeks of relentlessly calling to get them to cancel his subscription.

Saturday morning, I cranked up Google and searched out product reviews. I also went back to the “article” to look at it more carefully. Most legitimate articles that referenced Acai agreed that there are no specific benefits in this berry, but that added to a good diet and exercise plan the berry can’t hurt. The “article” itself couldn’t stand close scrutiny either. At the top of the page it read “advertorial” which is advertising newspeak for “ad.” This is the full page product ad that is seen in magazines. The ad looks similar in all details like an article. I got suckered.

I went back to the product’s home page and read the terms and conditions. I signed myself up for a $90/month subscription to this wonder berry pill. How completely stupid of me. The happy ending to all of this is that a fifteen minute phone call (most of that time spent waiting for a rep) is all that it cost me to cancel the subscription. Phew!

My desperation to lose the last of this age and negligence weight made me forget that I was on a program that was working and not costing me a dime extra. Here’s the plan folks. Eat less. Eat better. Exercise more. And be patient. Our bodies only need about 2000 to 2500 calories a day to run properly. If you are trying to lose weight, count the calories you are currently taking in. See which foods are your highest contributors. Then look at cutting back/out sweets and shrinking portions of anything else. While I am losing weight, I try to keep intake between 1500 to 2000 calories. Now that the pattern and portions are in place, it’s become habit.

A calorie is a unit energy required to raise one kilogram of water by one degree Celsius. In dieting terms, a calorie is the amount of energy required to consume the food totally. This makes exercise an important factor in a diet. We want to try to burn more calories than we consume. Most people forget though that their body is a furnace. They over exercise and eventually lose their momentum. Go out for a thirty minute walk once or twice a day. That’s really all the extra exercise you need beyond what your body is already expending on daily routine.

Having patience is the most important part. That extra weight you pinch at the waist didn’t suddenly appear over night. It wont disappear that quickly either. Be patient. The tendency to weigh-in everyday can be crushing for the impatient. One morning, a pound has slipped away. w00t! Then the next morning a couple of pounds have returned. Bastards! The reality is that the body will fluctuate its weight by a couple of pounds everyday. Here’s my weigh-in pattern. Step on the scales in the morning after having used the toilet. After a nights sleep, we have burned a number of calories and lost a volume of water to respiration. Waiting to mount the scales after the morning bio-break means that I am giving myself a chance to see my weight at its lightest. Also, I only record my weight once a week, not daily.

How well has this program worked for me? I lose about a half pound every week. Since last August, I have lost twenty pounds and kept it off. (Some weeks are better than others.) I am only fifteen pounds away from my goal. I think it’s working. What the hell do I need freaking wonder berries for, anyways?

Warning: Links in this article are most likely NSFW.

A couple weeks back, I wrote about the vanity of women. (see Vajazzling: Strange Vanity) I didn’t go for the usual things about breast implants or hair dyes. I looked at the more unusual practices that women use to assuage a shaken ego. It occurred to me though that this isn’t just an issue women face. Men are equally as temperamental about their body image and will seek unusual and even extreme methods. At first, I thought my research would lead me to just pubic grooming techniques and hair coloring. However, it revealed the surgeries and processes that we will endure.

Today men are just as likely to get plastic surgery as women. The field of employable men grows as new members are entering the job market at younger ages and the older members are staying on the market longer. It isn’t unusual for men to get liposuction, eye and chin lifts, and hair implants. All this for the appearance of youth. All this for the ability to say, “I have the experience and I look fit enough to use it.” Beyond the superficial though, men are also want to be perceived as sexually whole and functional. To this end, we seek out any number of remedies. Most amount to snake oil. Some are just silly. Other are just radical.

Not to long ago, I noticed grey hairs in my beard. I wondered how long it would be before that grey showed itself in my pants. There are lines of hair dyes just for men. There are lines for both head and beard hair. Most men a very wary of any chemicals getting to close to their penises. This lead me to the question. “Are there hair dyes for pubic hair?” A quick search gave me the answer. Betty [link] makes a line of pubic hair dyes. Initially targeted for women, this company saw a market in men, too. Now, the Brown Betty and Black Betty hair dyes most men will find useful, but the Pink Betty caught my eye. I imagine my next date doing a double spit take at the reveal of my cotton candied colored bush. Forget the grey hair. Go for the comedic takedown.

Worrying about grey hair just generates more grey hair. What really should be of concern is the rampant hair growth that occurs after turning thirty. I waited for years after turning thirteen before my first chest and pubic hairs to start growing. When the first started to arrive, I new my manhood was around the corner. As I my thirties start to pass me, I realize that my pleasure garden is overgrown. I have hair on my back! The treasure path from my chest to groin is now a field of bramble. This isn’t an uncommon thing among men either. Here we have taken another cue from women and began shaving more than just our beards. I found article after article after article about “manscaping.”

There are three camps of thought around trimming the hedges. The first is the “Porn Star Equivalency” – Denude the body of all hair save the head. In this way, the man will look like any number of Ken-doll lookalikes from current porn films. Look like a porn star naked and have sex like a porn star. The second camp is the “Keep America Beautiful” approach. Instead of trying to deny that growth is occurring, the man only seeks to keep it under control and presentable. The third camp is the “Tree in the Field Corollary.” Ever notice how a tree in the middle of an open field looks taller than a similar tree in the forest? So has every other man. The net effect is that of a forty year old man with a ten year old groin.

A short tree in the field is still a short tree. Men know this, too. Also in on this simple bit of awareness is an entire industry devoted to penis enlargement. Most remedies are snake oil and in some cases dangerous. Penis pumps, if used improperly, can cause vascular damage. Most of the nutraceuticals have not been proven to show any improvements in libido or penis size during clinical testing. “Stretching” or “jelqing” [link] can cause tissue damage or even pull the root of the penis from the pelvis. And the only sure way to extend penis length is surgery and that carries a lot of risks, too. Yet everyday men make appointments with plastic surgeons.

The surgery relies on the knowledge that anywhere from a third to half the penis length is concealed by the body. The corpus cavernosa and corpus spongiosum (the spongey tissues that support an erection) [link]are attached at the pubic arch on the pelvis. The urethra and the blood vessels that supply the penis run along and through these tissues. The surgeon disconnects the root of the penis from the pubic arch, moves it forward, and reattaches it. At most, a man will gain a couple of inches from the surgery. If proper time and attention isn’t given for recovery, there could be permanent erectile issues.

For the record, it needs to be said that the average human penis is between five to seven inches in length when erect. Of the primates, the human penis is the largest in regards to body proportion and overall size. The men in porn films that strut eight or more inches are not the norm of humanity. Women faced with a very large penis will think the same thing men think when faced with very large breasts: “What do I do with all of this?”

Men seeking to correct deficiencies is one thing, but what about men that looking to correct a change made long before they even understood what a penis was? Oh, yes. There are procedures for that, too. The change I am speaking of is circumcision. The practice of circumcision goes back several thousand years. Culturally speaking, the reasons for circumcision are wildly various. It is seen as a sign of a pact with a deity, symbol of virility, and a mark of good hygiene. Clinically, circumcision is the removal of the foreskin from the penis. The age when this removal occurs also varies according to culture.

It wasn’t until the 20th Century that circumcision was practiced as a medical procedure. With the advent of the germ theory, physicians were quick to advise new parents to remove any flap of flesh that could potentially hide dirt. While contemporary studies haven’t found a correlation between the presence of foreskin and overall health, the practice of circumcision is still very high. Worldwide, nearly 30% of males over the age 15 are circumcised. In the US, that number rises to almost 75%. [link]

Since the 70s, there has been a growing thought among men that circumcision has taken something intangible from them without permission and with a great deal of pain [link - YouTube]. Circumcision has not only robbed these men of a ring of flesh, but of sexual sensitivity and satisfaction, and naturalness. The foreskin not only covers the glans, but it contains the ridged ring that contains a large number of nerve endings. Also, covering the glans prevents it from rubbing against clothing while moving and desensitizing the glans in the process.

This reaction to circumcision has lead to the practice of foreskin restoration or reconstruction. Men can opt for surgical and non-surgical methods. Both methods use stretching existing penile skin to induce new cell growth. The surgical methods will use sub-dermal balloons to slowly stretch the skin until it begins to fold and overlap until it covers the glans. Another surgical method begins the same way, but then skin grafts are added to complete the process. Surgical methods are quick but come with risks and drawbacks. Infection is the leading risk, but also failed sutures due to an unplanned erection. The drawbacks of the graft are that the grafted skin may not match in texture and color to the rest of the penis.

The non-surgical methods have fewer risks, but they require more patience. In order to lengthen the skin along the penile shaft, a stretching apparatus has to be used. A slow approach is prudent here. The most popular method is the t-taped method [link]. A ring of medical tape is attached to skin around the circumference of the shaft just anterior of the glans. Then a set of clips that are attached by line to a strap on the leg, waist, or even to weights. The skin is then pulled for extended periods. This is repeated over the course of months until the skin begins to overlap the glans again. An alternate method uses more engineering. The apparatus is called a DTR (Dual Tension Restorer [link - NSFW]) A hard silicone cup attached to rod is placed at the glans’s end. A second pair of cups that travels the rod is used to secure the penile shaft skin. Using rubber bands, the pair of cups is pulled away from glans. Using screws, tension can be set and held.

After all is said and done, men will do as much as women to stave of age, recapture the appearance of youth, and try to recapture what they feel was taken. Somewhere along the line someone has fed all of us lines of bullshit so thick, deep and wide that no one feels that they are normal anymore. We try so very hard to become normal that in the end we look like caricatures of normal.

link » » Google Search – male pubic hair dye

link » » Manscaping | Betty Beauty, Inc.

link » » Google Search – Male pubic hair grooming

link » » Male Grooming – Pubic Hair Styles – Cosmopolitan.com

link » » Clean Your Balls – Axe – Break.com

link » » “Trend” Alert: Clean-Shaven Balls – Male pubic grooming – Jezebel

link » » My Pubic Hair: Mens Pubic Hair Pictures

link » » Google Search – penus surgery

link » » Wikipedia – Penis enlargement

link » » Penis Enlargement Surgery – Phalloplasty: Beverly Hills Surgical

link » » Penis-enlargement scams: You’re more normal than you think – MayoClinic.com

link » » Google Search – circumcision

link » » Google Search – Foreskin Removal

link » » Wikipedia – Circumcision

link » » Wikipedia – Foreskin restoration

link » » Circumcision – Kids Health

link » » Mothers Against Circumcision

link » » Circumcision Information and Resource Pages

link » » Foreskin Restore

link » » Foreskin Restoration Devices – NORM UK

link » » Foreskin restoration – Circumstitions

link » » FORESKIN RESTORATION – Dr. Harol Reed Centre

Three weeks ago, Jennifer Love Hewitt revealed on the George Lopez Show that her “va-jay-jay” was encrusted with Swarovski crystals. It glitters like a “disco ball” she goes onto say. Jennifer left late-nite TV viewers with a bizarre and indelible image. Her childish reference to her genitals aside, Jennifer also revealed a recent trend in women’s beauty – genital cosmetology.

I first started to become aware of this a couple years ago when I heard that women were having their hymens sown shut again. It’s called “revirginization’, or clinically “hymenoplasty.” From what I have read, women seek this cosmetic surgery to make right some past mistake or wrong. In the case of wrongs, the psychological and physical impact of rape is trauma enough. Couple it with the loss of virginity, not only has a woman lost control, but she has physically and emotionally lost her innocence. In these cases, hymenoplasty can aid in restoring some of what was taken. The women seeking to correct a poor decision though are looking to run back time so that they can give the right person what was given to the wrong person. This is just vanity, isn’t it?

Okay, hymenoplasty and Vajazzling are just two examples. How about two more? First another plastic surgery procedure: Labiaplasty. In this case, the surgery clearly serves vanity. For some women, the labia minor have grown longer than labia major. In other words, the inner labia are not neatly tucked into the outer labia. In a few cases, the difference is extreme and causes deep anxiety. Labiaplasty offers these women an opportunity to feel normal sexually. For other women, labiaplasty is a means to the “perfect pussy”. The line between need and want is thin. One site displays before and after pictures of women that have undergone the surgery. Only a few of these images looked like women in need of the surgery.

The last item on our genital cosmetology tour is a product that most likely came out of the porn industry. It’s called My New Pink Button. My New Pink Button is actually gynecological makeup. This product makes the vaginal opening pinker. Pinker than what, is my question. Like the Jennifer’s crystals, My New Pink Button is purely a vanity product. This feeds a desire to be young and fresh. This is akin to the advent of rouge for the face a cheeks. The appearance of youth. But again, who is going to see this and under what conditions?

Items like My New Pink Button and Vajazzling are only ever going to be seen by a lover or on the set of a porn movie. Neither serves a practical purpose. Both are definitely for vanity and ego. I know that as a man, I am not that aware of either the color nor the decor of a woman’s pussy. My view is often under poor lighting conditions and fogged by hormones. And you may ask my thoughts on another bit of genital cosmetology – shaving. I admit that shaved pubic hair is attractive. However, I like that there be some hair still to be seen and touched. After all, I chose to sleep with a woman, not a girl. It’s the one pure vanity that I feel comfortable with. Besides it is neither introduces new chemicals and doesn’t pose a choking hazard.

link » » Revirginization – Google Search

link » » Repair Your “Down There” – Revirginization with Hymenoplasty – New Trend in Vaginal Surgery

link » » USATODAY.com – Revirginization, Dr. Scholl’s and conservative ice cream

link » » Revirginization | The Frisky

link » » Labiaplasty – Google Search

link » » Labiaplasty – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

link » » Labiaplasty Pictures – Before & After Photos

link » » Labiaplasty | Labia Surgery – cosmetic labia reduction surgery

link » » My New Pink Button

link » » My new pink button – Jezebel

link » » My New Pink Scam

Okay, this is an email meme my mom sent me, but I laughed. Therefore, you had better. After all, my mom thought these were funny.

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighbourhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories..
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes – to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this thing I have– ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn It!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to Voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day.. What a waste.
17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. My 4-year old grandson asked me in the car the other day “What would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the hell do I respond to that?
19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet, on any given Friday or Saturday night, more kisses begin with Bud Light than with a Kay jewelery Product.

In my previous article [link], I wrote at length about the current g-spot controversy. I’d like to now give my two-bit anecdotal evidence for its existence and methods of enjoyment. I’ll open by saying that I am by no means an expert in this field. This site is my soapbox and I use it as such. My aim is to share something good and useful.

The controversy woke me up and brought to mind my history with the g-spot. I can’t actually tell you when I first learned about it. As a term, it wasn’t coined until 1982, so I can say for certain that it wasn’t before then. Besides, I was twelve at the time. I’d say it would have to be in my late teens, then. My first serious girlfriend and sex partner is the most likely locus for my early g-spot investigations. As the sensitive guy that I was trying to be, I made it a priority to learn what I could about the female erogenous zones.

I committed to memory the placement of the various items that make up a woman’s sex organs. The mons pubis, labia major, labia minor, clitoral hood, clitoris, urethra, vaginal opening, vagina, cervix, uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries. The g-spot was a magical thing though. Apparently, if touched properly, it could induce a mind blowing orgasm unlike any other. At least, that’s what it said on the book jacket, right? Well, I wasn’t about to neglect this small fleshy area just because it was elusive and its very existence was under contention.

Now men don’t have much patience for things that can’t be seen. After all, most of our awareness is made up from visual stimulus. A clitoris can be seen. Therefore, the clitoris can be properly manipulated to bring on an orgasm. This is what men like. We want a users manual with diagrams of what we will be doing. The g-spot on the other hand is a wily and elusive thing.

It is positioned inside the vagina at approximately 1 to 2 inches on the upper (belly) side. What the biology books don’t show is that from the vaginal opening, the interior of the vagina arches upward just a bit and it can carry the g-spot out of reach of the penis. Normal penetrating sex will just graze this area. However, careful use of the finger tips can find and stimulate the g-spot.

I was surprised and she was delighted that this lovely spot in her vagina did actually exist. G-spot stimulation became a norm in our play. My experience with her set up presumptions that I’d have about future women. First, I thought all women would be as easily stimulated via the g-spot. Second, I thought that all women would by the time I met them be aware that they had a g-spot. Man, was I wrong.

Young and stupid, hopefully, has lead to old and wise. I did learn that women have a wide area of experience when it comes to the g-spot. Like men, women are familiar with what they see. More than one has used a hand mirror to explore and visually inspect. Again, the clitoris is pretty easy to locate. Pull upward on the clitoral hood and there is pleasure button number one. Why worry about a spot about the size of a nickel inside the vagina when there is a much easier to access source of pleasure, right?

The good news is that I knew better early in my sex history. A couple of my lovers were aware of the g-spot and were appreciative of the extra attention I gave it. And still others had heard of it, but their own experiences led them to believe that they didn’t have one. What I learned from all of my lovers is that they all have a g-spot. One description helped me above all to locate the g-spot: a more textured bit of flesh about the size of a nickel and one to two inches inside the vaginal opening. “More textured” gave me something to feel for and I have yet to not locate the g-spot on a woman. However, I also learned that not all women are as sensitive as my first lover was.

One lover never had a vaginal orgasm. For her, the pleasure she derived from penetrative sex came from rough handling and deep fast penetration. Neither of these behaviors am I naturally inclined towards and had to learn for the sake of our sex life. From her, I acquired a bit of a kink streak. As a balance, I asked if we could see if we could teach her body to be more sensitive to vaginal intercourse. G-spot stimulation was our starting point.

Every woman responds differently to g-spot stimulation. Some will find it immediately and intensely pleasurable. While others will find that stimulating the g-spot is uncomfortable and even painful. To understand why, we need to know what we are stimulating. The g-spot is actually a cluster of nerves that surround the urethra along its length. The separation between the anterior (belly side) of the vagina and the urethra is very thin. The nerves come in close contact with the vagina. Along the anterior side of the vagina there is a very textured bit of vaginal wall. This is where the separation is thinnest and most sensitive.

When pressure is applied to this area some women may feel a sensation similar to the urge to urinate. This is where delicacy is a must. Social conventions will make this sensation uncomfortable. As mentioned above, if too much pressure is applied too quickly, the sensation can be quite painful. The rule of thumb with g-spot stimulation is to begin gently and slowly. Use one or two fingers and stroke with a come hither upward curl of the fingers. Also, don’t focus all of the contact on the g-spot. Don’t forget that there is another hand and a mouth to spare. This is supposed to be fun, right?

With the woman I mentioned above, I kept my touch as subtle as possible. The object for us was to awaken the nerves in her vagina and help her to become more aware of their responses to stimulation. Over time, we were able to increase pressure and frequency. And because we didn’t spend all of our time on the g-spot her body was able to associate its sensations with her general pleasure. And I am proud to say, that she began to have incredible orgasms from softer penetrating sex. (This doesn’t mean we dispensed with the rougher play. That was fun in its way, too.)

One thing that researchers seem to forget when choosing their sample pools is that we are all different. We do not come from the same mothers and fathers. None of our sexual experiences are exactly the same. Yet they still attempt to homogenized human experience so that it will fit their data. The truth is completely the opposite. The generalities of human sexuality are so completely general as to make any study meaningless. What I just wrote above worked for me because of a little learning, some patience, a willingness to try and more importantly a willingness to move on if what I tried wasn’t working.

-vita brevis sic lasivious nuda- Life’s short. Play naked.

Last week, a new medical study caused a big stir in the world of sex. A group of scientists from Kings College UK claimed that they proved conclusively that the g-spot doesn’t exist. The debate on the existence of the g-spot has been open since Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg declared:

An erotic zone always could be demonstrated on the anterior wall of the vagina along the course of the urethra.
The Role of Urethra in Female Orgasm, International Journal of Sexology 1950

While Gräfenberg didn’t coin the term “g-spot”, he was the first to observe this Holy Grail of pleasure points. Dr. Beverly Whipple and her colleagues would publish their findings confirming the existence of the g-spot in 1982’s The G-Spot: And Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality. With the door supposedly closed on the subject, a market for self-help guides and sexual aids opened up. Everyone came out of the woodwork to proclaim that they knew how to best locate and stimulate this highly responsive patch of flesh. Any time a new study about the g-spot surfaces, the study grabs media attention. The Kings College study is no different.

Genetic and Environmental Influences on self-reported G-Spots in Women: A Twin Study is the largest study of its kind. Some 4625 questionnaires were mailed out to twin female UK residents. 1875 responded to the questionnaire. 71 responses were eliminated because the researchers felt that these would skew the results (I’ll come back to this later). The choice of twins (both maternal and paternal) was intended to show a biological link. The researchers’ hypothesis was that there should be more agreement in the responses between maternal twins than paternal twins because maternal twins are genetically identical. Their conclusion was that no such agreement existed, therefore the g-spot does not exist.

The findings of this study are as controversial as the studies that declared the g-spot’s existence. Two items to be looked at are methodology, and the reasons for eliminating certain responses. The self-reporting nature of the questionnaire format is tricky to analyze. Questions should show no bias toward outcome. One question reads:

Do you believe you have a so called G spot, a small areas the size of a 20p coin on the front wall of your vagina that is sensitive to deep pressure?

Here, terms like “so called”, “size of a 20p coin” (about the size of a US nickel), and “sensitive to deep pressure” can lead a respondent to mark ‘no’ on the questionnaire simply because this does not match their personal experience.

Then there are the respondents that were eliminated from the pool. Those women that “reported they were homo or bisexual were excluded from the study because of the common use of digital stimulation among theses women, which may bias the results. Also excluded were women who had never engaged in vaginal intercourse.” This action biases the entire study toward heterosexual couples engaging in penile penetration sex only. This, in and of itself, should invalidate the study. First, back to the description of the g-spot:

“a sensitive area felt through the front (anterior, belly-side) wall of the vagina about halfway between the level of the pubic bone and the cervix (along the course of the urethra).”
The G-Spot: And Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality, Dr. Beverly Whipple

The g-spot is located within one to two inches from the vaginal opening. A penis penetrating deeper than this is only rubbing the shaft on this area. A woman might not feel stimulation at the g-spot at all. As a matter of fact, Dr. Whipple suggests that “The easiest way to stimulate the G-spot is by using two fingers inserted into the vagina with a come-here motion…” meaning that the piston-like motion of man-on-top sex may not always induce a g-spot orgasm. The respondents that would have greatest experience with locating and stimulating the g-spot are those that are most likely to engage in alternative stimulation like the use of digits or devices. In other words, lesbians and bisexual women!

Okay, it’s plain to see that I don’t agree with the finding of the Kings College researchers. Ultimately, the researchers defended their findings by saying “It is rather irresponsible to claim the existence of an entity that has never been proven and pressurise women and men too.” However, if the methods of disproving a hypothesis are negligent or too narrow, is that not as irresponsible? Since the suggestion that the g-spot existed, men and women have been under pressure to locate and stimulate it. The rafts of guides and gizmos have done little to ease the anxiety for those that feel they can’t find it. The negative outcomes make people self-concious of their abilities and physiologies. What’s wrong with me? Don’t I have a g-spot like every other woman? Why am I unable to find her g-spot? It’s unfair and irresponsible for the so-called ’sexperts’ to proclaim that anyone can enjoy the same pleasures as their neighbors. Their advice is only true if all of us were born from the same parents and lived exactly the same lives.

It’s also irresponsible to invalidate all of the anecdotal evidence that shows that there is a spot inside of the vagina that is more sensitive than the surrounding tissue. The fact that not all women respond the same is marker of diversity. That’s all. To narrow the sample pool to a narrow band of experience is to disavow the rest of the spectrum. Rather than trying to be right, researchers should be trying to find ways to either help women increase sensitivity or learn how to just not worry. Everybody’s pleasure points are different.

Some of my resources:

link » » Where have all the g-spots gone? by Dr. Petra Boynton

link » » The Role of the Urethra in Female Orgasm by Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg

link » » The G-Spot Revisited by Dr. Betty Dodson

link » » Err on a G-spot By Tom Geoghegan

link » » Scientists claimed it was the mysterious key to sexual fulfilment. Now they say the G-spot doesn’t exist. Oh well, at least we enjoyed searching for it by Linda Kelsey

link » » i’m in ur internets findin’ ur g-spots… by Violet Blue

link » » gspot by Violet Blue

link » » Yes, there is a G-Spot by Rachel Kramer Russel

link » » Finding the G-spot: Is it real? by Elizabeth Landau

link » » The G-spot ‘doesn’t appear to exist’, say researchers (no byline)

link » » Female G-spot ‘can be detected’ (no byline)

link » » For Some in Japan, Home Is a Tiny Plastic Bunk

Just a reminder that this recession is worldwide. Capsule hotels used to be a part of the salaryman’s suit. Now it is the quarters for those nearing disenfranchisement.

link » » Apple iSlate Concept Is Exactly How This Thing Should Be

I can’t express how much I want something like this to be true. It’s this techno-fetishist’s dearest desire.

link » » The Naked and the Conflicted

The jist – Contemporary American writers are wusses. They dwell on shame, reticence, irony, and the warm and fuzzy of sex. My two favorite writers of sex scenes are Henry Miller and Yukio Mishima. Passionate men that expressed clearly and poetically what it was like to fuck and make love. It often happens at the same time.

link » » Congratulations to the winners of Fark’s 2009 Headline of the Year contest

Some of the best laughs I have had in a while.

May the best of 2009 be the worst of 2010.

The world over has had a pretty sucky 2009. I’m glad that it is behind us. As all of the new years past, this one promises good things for us all. I certainly wish for those good things. What helps to ward away the worry that the coming year may fail is to remember how the past year didn’t fail.

I continued to work on my art even after closing the studio. My job remained my job, and I remained able to feed and house myself and my two cats. I had many good nights with friends and was reacquainted with friends I thought I lost. Indeed, the year could have been better monetarily, but it was tops spiritually.

I spent my NYE at home with my cats and the Star Wars Trilogy. (The first three films never happened!) I ate well and drank even better. My hands remained busy with IM, Twitter, texts. There may have just been me and the cats in the apartment, but I felt surrounded by my friends. It was an oddly warm and melancholy night. I drank too much, laughed a lot, and woke with a hangover. In other words, I had a successful NYE.

It’s a strange holiday, this Thanksgiving thing. Did you know that even though the first Thanksgiving occurred in the early 17th, it wasn’t until Lincoln that the last Thursday of November was set aside for the holiday? Americans from the establishment of the Colonies through the Revolutionary War and establishment of the United States celebrated Thanksgiving whenever it suited their local or Federal desires. Not until 1863, did we as a single nation begin to sit together and give thanks.

In essence, it is supposed to be a religious holiday to celebrate the bounty and mercy of God, but like all other Western traditions Thanksgiving is muddled with secular pleasures. We drink, watch sports and parades, and prepare for the shopping onslaught of the next month. Thanksgiving is the gateway to Christmas and New Year’s Eve. It is also the day that many begin their annual charity.

The core traditions of Thanksgiving still hold. Like the Pilgrims, we gather together with family and friends. A table is set with our finest plates and stemware. Down the center of the table are epicurean delights like roast turkey, cornbread stuffing, cranberry relish, sweet and mashed potatoes, wine and beer, beans, and on and on. It is a feast for an army to feed a few.

It sounds cynical, I know. To be honest, I enjoy the holiday because of what it is: A day with friends and family. Strip away the religious trappings and historical controversies (think the effects of colonialism on native populations) and you have a day off from work that revolves around spending time with people you genuinely care for. Okay, maybe that is stretching it for some, but nonetheless this day is for feasting and friendship.

Today, I go to a friend’s home. She is laying out a traditional Thanksgiving feast. There will most likely be sports on the TV and wine in the glasses. We’ll eat until we burst, drink a little more than we should, and shoot the shit for several hours. Does it get any simpler or better?

In the spirit of the holiday, I’d like to list the things I am thankful for:

• Family that I want to spend time with.
• Friends that I will be spending time with.
• A job.
• A roof over my head.
• My relatively good health.
• A stable and sharp mind.

Happy Thanksgiving!