Sensual awareness tunes the mind into the body’s experience. When the mind is focused on the changes in sensation it has little time to reflect on anything else. The mind can only process the present. The past and future has to be let go. It takes practice to bring the mind and body into alignment. But it can be done in so many ways. Delilah uses several disciplines that she sums up as ‘sensate focus.’

A quick Google search and I found that the term comes from a technique pioneered by Masters and Johnson to treat couples with sexual dysfunctions. At the core, sensate focus therapy involves couples progressing from intimate non-sexual contact to progressively more intimate contact. The stages of the treatment have several common threads: No talking, no sex and no touching of the genitals or breasts. It alleviates anxiety brought on by sex or the anticipation of sex. In essence, couples learn about what appeals and stimulates them through touch.

Humans have internal and external sensations. Breathing is key to the internal experience. It’s the one physiological function that we can control. When I was maybe ten years old, my Mom began a spiritual journey. She looked at a variety of paths. Mom was careful not to expose me directly to any of them. My path is my own to discover. She did, however, teach me about meditation. I learned how to breath. More to the point, I learned early in my life how to focus my attention on breathing. Today, I still practice some of the techniques she taught me long ago. The result is that I am a slow, deep, and quiet breather. When I feel myself tightening up from one stress or another, I just tell myself, “Breath in. Breath out.” Breath regulates the body with the heartbeat. Calm breathing slows the heart rate. It can massage the internal organs.

Next to breathing, the second most neglected sense is touch. Our largest sensory organ is our skin and yet we tune out most of what it has to tell us. Unless the touch is intentional (a caress from a lover) or accidental (brushing up against a hot iron), we ignore the signals from our skin. Yet, as I sit here, I can feel a light breeze from the window, the carpet under my feet, and a cat doing figure eights around my shins.

Lately, I have taken to twice daily showers. Until a couple of weeks ago, I took showers with same intent as most everyone: get the body clean. It was just another morning task to be done before work. Now I take an evening shower(why take a dirty body to bed?). The evening shower is slow. I use an aromatic soap (Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint Castille Soap). The peppermint oil in the soap fills the shower with a soothing steam. Meanwhile, the oil also has a cooling/heating sensation on the skin. It is very stimulating. Some bits of flesh are more stimulated than others. My morning shower is just a maintenance bath after the morning walk and before work.

Both showers follow the same pattern, though. A warm soaking followed by a hot soaking. The hot soaking is under water that stings a little, but doesn’t scald. I let it cascade over my head and shoulders. I can track the path as the streams pass between my shoulder blades or around my belly. It’s especially stimulating when it trickles around my genitals. Combine these sensations with deep breathing exercises and the affect is euphoric. I come out of my showers more centered and body aware.